3 Ingredients to a Rich Life
Lately, I have been reflecting on what makes life feel rich. Where do we find meaning, enjoyment, and purpose amongst the challenges of ordinary life?
I came down to three ingredients. None of them are extraordinary. But they are often overlooked, and pushed down our to-do lists.
These 3 ingredients are contemplation, connection, and creativity.
I realized that in the periods of my life where I felt the most radiant, these were all present.
I’ll explore in more detail what each means below and how they can be relevant to you as well.
I also invite you to reflect on your own ingredients to a fulfilled life, beyond what books and other people can share with you.
Where do you feel the deepest resonance?
I. Contemplation
This first part is not to be confused with meditation, which for me, involves a lot of sitting and observing our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Of course, meditation can be active as well, but overall, it requires solitude and inward focus.
Contemplation has a broader meaning. One of my favorite teachers, Richard Rudd, describes it as: “what happens when you let yourself be fully in your life.”
Contrary to a meditation practice, contemplation does not stop or start. It is a way of living we embody over time. It can include meditation and mindfulness, but its scope is far wider.
On a practical level, this is about slowing down, doing less, and being more present for what is truly important for you. It can also be cultivating a connection to your inner world.
Some of my favorite contemplations are drinking tea in the morning alone, walking in nature and feeling my surroundings, or sharing a heartfelt moment with a friend.
This art, or way of life, is about taking life in. Feeling, breathing, enjoying, and being.
At its core, contemplation teaches me to be gentle with myself, and in turn, with others. It reminds me that the most essential is often found just in front us, if we are open to life, our emotions, and our relationships.
This does not make life blissful at all times. What it changes is that we stop pushing away life, our hardships, and our pains.
We expand our capacity by loving life, including our problems and mistakes.
In practice, this means that when I feel fear or discomfort, I do my best to welcome it and create more space for it. I soften and stay strong at the same time.
I believe there is a natural, intuitive rhythm to life for each of us. But it requires us to slow down and breathe. To tune-in and stop pushing against the flow.
My favorite all-time contemplation is to do things I love and to do them with joy.
You can bring this attitude and approach to anything in your life. Instead of trying to escape your humanity, learn to love it with all its hard and soft edges.
“Joy multiplies when it is shared.The way to break the illusion is to fall in love with life.”
II. Connection
In tandem with contemplation, we have connection.
This concerns our relationships to all of life, not only to our friends, family, and neighbors. But also to the cosmos, your co-workers, and the people that love and trigger you.
I believe a reason why we need to numb ourselves so much with technology, food, and other substances, is because we are starved from deep and nourishing relationships.
We seek to fill a void that can only begin to be filled within ourselves.
This is why I started with contemplation. The hidden purpose is to invite you to spend more time alone, to learn to enjoy your own company. That’s what self-love is.
If you cannot be alone with yourself and find joy in solitude, you are going to struggle in your relationships. This is one cause of co-dependence that is easily overlooked. We look to fill the void through the people around us. A partner, a child, a therapist…
But this is only half of the response.
The other part is that we need to learn to invest in our relationships. Nothing grows in our life without our dedication and commitment.
There is little as rewarding as deep relationships.
We were never meant to travel alone. Somehow, we have now become more disconnected than ever in history, while paradoxically having the means to reach each other easier than ever as well.
We can pursue our individual goals and desires, yet, the real flavor of life is found in our connections.
How do we make this practical?
Simply value your relationships. Invest in them by being present. Ask for forgiveness when necessary.
Most importantly, find people that you feel truly seen by and give your love fully to them.
You can of course have boundaries, but don’t hold back either out of fear of being hurt or not getting enough in return.
Giving love secretly opens your heart. It is both selfish and selfless.
It is said there are two pathways to God.
One is through meditation and isolation.
The other is through love and relationships. Instead of cutting ourselves away from life, we open up our heart to all our relationships. We grow and heal through them.
Throughout my life, I have never felt happier than when I was surrounded by people I loved and felt a strong bond with.
It may not be as important as work. It may not be on the top of your to-do list. It will likely be challenging. Yet, that is my recommendation.
Build by giving. Value your relationships. Go offline as much as possible. And simply be there together.
Keep it simple. The magic is in the ordinary.
A living practice: be open to the people you meet in your life. Most of them will be strangers. Instead of staying in your world, aim to create a moment of connection with them. Even as simple as smiling and saying hello. This is a beautiful and organic way to build more relationships in your life.
III. Creativity
Our last ingredient is also easily forgotten — creativity.
Here, I want to expand what creativity means for me.
There is far more to this than art, writing, or painting. Creativity is how we respond to life. How we learn to see new possibilities in the midst of our greatest challenges.
Our modern culture deprives us of our right brain — the world of imagination, of spontaneous insights, and new ways of seeing.
Instead, we are funneled into a left-brain, rational way of thinking from our earliest age. And, on top of that, we consume an enormous amount of inputs from others.
Where does that leave our imagination? The creative impulses that make feel life so rich?
An overlooked aspect of creativity is how we create our lives.
If we never sit alone to feel what we truly want to make out of this lifetime, it is said that someone else will do it for you.
Creativity also ties in to contribution. How we serve the world. What we are here to do with our lives.
Before we get heady or anxious about these questions, my recommendation is to keep it as simple as possible.
Follow what brings you joy. If writing is your thing, than go with that. If you love hosting gatherings, that may be your thing.
In my view, creativity is our connection to our Source. The Spirit or soul behind the steering wheel.
The more you create, the more intrinsic joy you will feel.
A practical suggestion: run experiments. Creativity responds well to not having too much pressure or expectations.
An experiment means trying something new or different.
Instead of taking the same road to work or the same approach to your problems, you try something different.
These can be small or big changes.
Creativity also has its individual rhythms. When do you feel the most creative? That time period can be something you prioritize in your life.
Finally, all creativity does not need to be result oriented. Often, I’ve found my best creative work emerges from not being attached to the outcome. I simply follow the creative impulse and honor it (like with this article).
If there is something you’ve been wanting to do, I challenge you to follow your creative spirit.
You don’t need to do anything perfectly. Simply give yourself the permission to explore and create.
If you keep at it, you’ll find that your creativity can blossom anytime and anywhere in your life.
Creativity is also very well channeled through our hands. This can be anything you do with your body like cooking a meal, drawing, or building something. Our hands are marvelous gifts that can be used in a myriad of ways. Don’t forget to use them!
I will finish with a final, bonus tip.
The secret is not necessarily to do more. Often, it is do less.
The joy and happiness we seek may just be asking us to slow down enough to notice it. Right here, in the midst of our ordinary life.
I leave you with a journal entry from May:
“I see the high value in slowing down. Like I did this morning, when I do not rush, life takes a completely different flavor. This resonates deeply within me. As if, in those moments, the meaning of life is revealed simply by doing nothing. It’s a curious insight. What if happiness lies just before us, in this very moment, and we only need to slow down enough to realize this?” (20.05.26)
