Heart of Gold

I was recently at a singles dating event with a few friends. I had never been to something like this before, but felt open to new experiences.

Although the party was fun, and I enjoyed my time with my friends, it felt a little shallow.

Amidst the drinking and partying, I was seeking deep conversations. Moments to know another from soul to soul.

For that is what brings me the deepest joy. Not infinite drinking or having hookups.

What follows is not a criticism of modern society, it is about my search for authenticity. My lifelong quest.

To me, a heart of gold is one of absolute trust in oneself and your higher vision. It is a common a trait to the most influential figures of history.

Those I admire are wild souls. People who are true to themselves no matter what.

Being in big groups like a co-living space or a party, can quickly motivate you to lose your independence.

This is what terrifies me about group mentality — something we’ve seen recurring over the past 5 years.

Human beings can lose all sense of individuality, soul, and critical thinking under the effect of group thinking and conformity.

Why? It is far harder to not try to fit in. To take the risk of not being accepted by your peers.

I know this pain to the depth of my heart. There is a reason why I only wore masks till I was 20 and began meditating.

Yet, the cost of inauthenticity is the biggest tradeoff you will ever make. That is my core belief.

When you do not listen to yourself, your heart, and your values — you lose the essence of who you are.

I have seen so much cruelty being operated by groups. Which always breaks my heart and questions my faith in humanity.

While I may not be able to change the world, I believe that being true to myself will have an impact.

I do not know how much. I only know that this is the strongest yearning of my heart.

So as I came home after this party, I contemplated: “Do I want to continue doing things that don’t feel true to myself?”

Society conditions us to not ask these questions. To do what we don’t like as if it is normal.

That is insanity.

I do not enjoy big parties, loud music, and drinking.

I do not enjoy shallow conversations and hookups.

I want depth. I want my life to matter because I see so much suffering in the world.

To be human, for me, is to care for other human beings. Something I have seen gradually disappearing in humanity.

We put people into boxes because we don’t agree with their opinions. Forgetting the human that lies behind them.

I do not want to spend my lifetime seeking to fit in. I feel tired of that.

I know what I like. I know how I want to help.

I grew up in Dubai for 10 years, and most of my life on the French Riviera. You don’t do a lot more superficial than that.

When money and being liked by others, becomes more important than our soul and caring for the people around us, we’ve lost our humanity.

I don’t want to lose any more time following what doesn’t feel authentic.

This path is not a popular path. Because people will not like you at times.

And when you are not liked, the question will be, do you still love yourself?

I believe most people spend their lives ignoring their true feelings and needs, which are the core of their authentic self.

May this not be your path, dear reader.

May you have the courage to be human, to be yourself.

The courage to care for your heart and care for others.

Your authentic voice is the most powerful force in the Universe.

And generosity, your greatest gift.